happy holidays

in the preview, that picture looks fine.........

bad names

here's a list i found online, of some funny URLs, where the designer didn't thinking about how people would read the name of the site:


http://www.whorepresents.com

http://www.expertsexchange.com (now extinct)

http://www.penisland.net

http://www.therapistfinder.com

http://www.molestationnursery.com (now offline)

http://www.gasheating.co.uk

http://www.powergenitalia.com




here are some other bad names for websites that i was able to track down :


www.graphicartsexchange.com

www.dollarsexchange.com

www.gotahoe.com

www.scatissue.com

www.penismightier.com (odd site now)

www.hiscockransom.co.uk/

www.fagray.com/

www.modelstalking.com



Go Ogle


bonus points to you if you can figure out where that photo at the top of the post was taken.......

to keep you interested in showing up here

this is a track called "place to belong" by a group called little dragon

i am currently OBSESSED with this track.


enjoy.





and download it here




ps - if you like them, buy their album

a life less oblivious

apparently i can't keep up with the news.



(click on the image to enlarge)


the above image was sitting in my email inbox this morning, compliments of the RSS feed from wired magazine's "gadgets" news.


anyway - thought it was funny, so decided to post it.

life, (and apparently in some cases, a lack of), seems to just keep going on around me......



ttys



ps - to anyone who has left comments recently - i apologise for not responding more quickly. any time i went to respond, i couldn't log in, and my browser seemed to have forgotten how to log me in automatically. anyway - i responded here.....

what was i thinking?

the other day, i decided to do some LONG-overdue purging.


this meant getting rid of my vintage computer collection.


i almost barfed.


the picture above was a casualty, that wasn't meant to be a casualty. i almost wept when it happened.


here is the rest of what i threw out.

yes there are duplicate computers, but they are NOT duplicate images. and by the way, this is not all of what i threw out, nor is it everything that i have.........



i am still going through post-partum depression.





:(

logorrhea

as i have said in the last few posts, i have been all over the country with work, and haven't had much time to myself, or much time to dedicate to this blog, which is rather unfortunate, in my opinion. (although yours my be quite the opposite).

one of the things that i love about my job, is that i get paid to learn. i also get paid to see some of the best presenters and performers from around the planet.

i have been compiling a list of things that have caught my eye/ear over the last few months. some of them are inspirational quotes, and other are quite the reverse, ie. silly things that people have said. other bits are just interesting words or phrases. in any case - here they are for your enjoyment. (or lack of)......


_________________________________________________________________________

GOOD QUOTES

"when the fire dies down, the predators come in"

"i want to be the person my dog thinks i am"

"be kind to the idiot, because in someone else's eyes, YOU are the idiot"

"don't measure your life by the number of breaths you TAKE, but by the moments that take your breath AWAY."


_________________________________________________________________________

BAD QUOTES

"what's that little box sitting on the mouse pad?" - (asked in reference to a mouse)

"do any of you read the internet?"

"growing like and absolute train"

"my mouse hand is stupid today"

"if you get a chance, see if you can spend some time with dick"

"some of the kids were REALLY poor. many of them had never even seen a TV screen larger than 19 inches"

_________________________________________________________________________

WORDS and PHRASES

"emotional firewall"

Kaizen

biometrics


this next word came to mind when i was thinking about the ambiguity of a word that a presenter used one day, and all of the different definitions of that word.

the word set has more definitions than any other word in the english language, and because of this is really fascinating to me.


here are the runners-up :

RUN - 396
GO - 368
TAKE - 343
STAND - 334
GET - 289
TURN - 288
PUT - 268
FALL - 264
STRIKE - 250

and this link is what you get when you type the word "set" directly into the address bar in firefox.


_________________________________________________________________________



that's about it for stuff that stuck with me over the last couple of months.


any of you guys have any good quotes or words you want to share with the other 2 or 3 readers on this blog?????










and simply because i need to spread the infection........



yes. i know.

need is all you love

this article is fantastic!

well......

the above picture is from the first snowfall of the year here.......

i wasn't going to leave it so long in between posts, but i actually had a couple of people tell me that they wanted to contribute answers to the quiz from the last post, so i put off posting for a few days to give those lazy bastard a chance to submit - and they REALLY dropped the ball.....

then i installed the new OS on my computer, and was really slow migrating information back over to the main machine, so the remainder of my time has been dedicated to making sure that i do the job properly. a lot more time consuming than i had anticipated. LOTS of data.

plus i have been enjoying a bit of time off. in the last month of work, i have only been home to my bed for THREE nights. brutal.


anyway - here are the answers to the quiz :


1. Boxing.

2. Niagara Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)

3. Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. Strawberry

5. It grew inside the bottle. (The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.)

6. Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.

7. Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

8. Lettuce

9. Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.


not sure if any of you guys paid attention, but lazy kangaroo was the only one who made an effort..... and did VERY well. perhaps i should give some sort of award to LK for it!!!

anyway.

i will try and post more frequently - i have some really cool stuff in the vaults, and some awesome ideas for future posts, which SHOULD keep you hanging around for a while longer......



later

just in time for halloween

i am still too busy to post properly or regularly right now, but i thought that i would post a link that i thought was pretty cool. hopefully it will give you some ideas of what to do with your pumpkin this halloween.... here you go. oh - and a quick quiz. this one even had ME stumped. answers will be in the next post, but in the meantime, post your guesses in the comments section...... 1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. 2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward? 3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables? 4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside? 5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle? 6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them. 7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them? 8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh. 9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'

work, work, work

crazy busy right now. hardly have time to breathe. been on the road for two weeks, and my last stay at home only lasted a day and a half, after having been away for a week. i am going to be home for a single day this weekend, then i am gone again for another 11 days. so please forgive the sparse nature of my postings...... the above image is called "camera ape", simply because the guy in the image seems to resemble some sort of simian with the movements he is making. i have been working at a government technology conference this week, and there are a few things that got me excited over the last day or so.... yahoo pipes free knowledge wikinomics, and its' associated facebook group and because i am always hungry for new information, i am almost OBSESSED with this site hope you find at least ONE of these links to be of interest to you.......

i had too much to dream last night....

this is a very strange one! i dreamed that i was late getting to the airport to fly out to quebec city. i was driving a truck of some sort, and realised that the lawnmower in the truck was out of gas. so i pull over, and proceed to march over to somebody's front yard, and grab the gas cannister that is conveniently sitting there. it turns out that the container is filled with banana-scented gasoline. i took the cap off of the gas tank of the lawnmower, and there were a few frogs swimming around inside. i filled the tank up, and then realised that i had lost the cap fro the lawnmower and spent some time wondering how i was going to get the lawnmower back inside the truck without spilling the banana-scented gas or the frogs. double you tee eff? anyone have any suggestions?

on the road....

believe it or not, i am actually posting this from the very top of whistler mountain. it is 2183 meters above sea level, and is the second largest ski mountain in north america--dwarfed only by it's next door neighbor, blackcomb mountain. the average snowfall here is around 10 METERS!!! unbelievable!!! if you go HERE, you can see the large chalet that i was posting from. it is supposed to be a "LIVE" webcam, but after many attempts at getting myself captured by it, i discovered that it only refreshes every 15 minutes or so. i even took a singer from quebec city with me, so that we could both be in the picture that i was intending to post here, but alas it didn't happen....(you can see her page by going to pascalepicard.com. she is a brilliant singer in both french AND english, and i have pasted a video of hers below..... you heard it here first - this girl is going to be HUGE. i saw a family of bears doing some pre-hibernation grazing today, but unfortunately i didn't get a chance to get a decent photo of them, because i had trouble with my camera, and the gondola was moving fairly quickly.... i am running around the country a lot lately, and have been taking some pretty cool photos, and i hope to post them in a big pile when i get a chance. keep checking back with me to see what's going on!!!!

just a small story

this story is actually one of my favourites to tell, and also perhaps one of my most proud moments. and possibly my most eloquent. i used to live in a really bad ghetto in toronto. prostitutes. junkies. dealers. all of them "doing their thing" in my back and front yards. i was cycling home one night from my job as a security guard for a massive record store right downtown. i get about two blocks away from my apartment, and a cop motions for me to get off of my bike. and two other cops move right in the path of my movement, in an attempt to prevent me from going anywhere. the first cop asks me to dismount, which i do. he then starts to lecture me for not having a reflector on the back of my bike, (which is odd because he wouldn't have been able to see that from the front), for not having a bell on my bike, and also for not wearing a helmet. something inside me snapped. they probably actually heard it. this is my response. verbatim. "you've GOT to be fucking kidding me. there are guys up the street --- selling crack to CHILDREN!!! and you are harassing me for not having a bell????" the three of them looked stunned, and confused. i got back on my bike, and just before i rode off, i said "i suggest you find something a little more constructive to do with your time." i don't think i stopped smiling for a week!!!! by the way - the photo at the top of this post was taken in toronto this past week while i was there for work. i have no idea what kind of vehicle that is. anyone have any guesses???

mixed bag

it occurred to me not too long ago that the word multimedia is a bit of a redundant phrase. isn't the word "media" ALREADY plural???? and here is some footage straight off of my new phone it may be difficult to see in the video above, but the shadow of the plane is constantly visible as a little tiny spec on the ground. i just thought that the shadow on the clouds, (of the plane), was really neat! new phone ROCKS by the way...... expect to see lots of stuff from it on here in the future. my friend lorrie, (who is practicing MMA), and i have been obsessing over this song lately....... you may D/L it here : When in Rome - The Promise both "L-Dog" and i are wishing that someone would write a song like this for us.....

dating stories galore!!!!!

so i have been hearing lots of dating horror stories from all kinds of people, since i posted this one. in fact a friend has allowed me to post her TOP TEN worst dates, and i figured you guys would all get a kick out of reading them. her blurb is really well written. please enjoy!! ps - i have another friend who has bad dating stories - perhaps i can convince her to let me post one or two of them, if you guys let me know that you are interested!!! ---------------------------------------------- I have compiled a list of the 10 worst dates I have now been on from internet dating, and would like to share them with you so that you can take notes, compare yourself to these people, and if you see any resemblance what so ever to yourself, then I respectfully request you do not contact me and move right along. Ok? Seriously. I'm not joking. K. 10. Date with fireman. Continuous asked me if he was hot enough to be in the calendar this year. 20 times he said, “Seriously, dude, am I hot enough? Cause I think I’m hot enough? Am I hot enough????” Blazeboy, you were not hot enough, and your constant compliment seeking made me want to light you on fire. 9. Second date brought bible to our meeting. He found God, and apparently, didn’t want to leave him at home. I love God, we all should. But not at Sticky Fingers on a Wed night when wings are cheap. 8. Met cop at restaurant, he proceeded to drink in copious amounts of beer, than he stole the mug by putting it under his shirt. Then he drove me home, drunk. By the way did I mention he’s a COP? 7. I’m not even going to tell you about my 4th date because I tend to get a bit choked up and I am trying to keep the mood light. I don’t have a cat anymore. Anyways. 6. Met someone at Starbuck's. Had great chat for about 10 minutes, thought things were well. His ex girlfriend walked in. She came over said hi. He said hi. He said to me, excuse me for a second. He followed her outside to talk to her. He didn’t come back. This is not a joke. 5. The quickest date happened next, when the man whom I was suppose to be meeting had sent me picture of 6 foot tall, brown hair blue eyed good looking realtor. When 5"4 pakistani who was slightly balding introduced himself to me at Tiff’s as “Rick*”, I immediately got up and left. I am not racist, but I was PISSED. He sent me email later apologizing saying he was having trouble meeting girls the “normal” way and that he had hoped he could “win” me over with his personality. HA! 4. This date never showed. And it’s only making my list because when I went to my car I had a flat tire and had to wait 2 hours for CAA to come change it. And it was HOT outside. 3. Reformed alcoholic who didn’t tell me until after he had had 2 beers but was so nervous he thought it would help him “relax”. Um, I don’t know what ever happened to him, but I’m hoping he left our date and went straight to AA meeting. 2. Married man, didn’t even bother to take ring off, came right out and said he really only wanted to have a sexual encounter but wanted to see me in person before he decided. I flirted a bit, got him to tell me what he did for a living. Said I had to go, and would email him. Called his work the next day, talked to receptionist, found out his wife’s name, googled her, and sent her email. Hey, I might be blond, but I’m resourceful and SMART. Just not smart apparently when it comes to sniffing out the married. 1. And the number one worst date, by far, had to be with- and folks- I am NOT joking- with a PRIEST. A serious, real live priest, who was contemplating leaving the church and thought this would be the best way to “test the waters”. I might understand “walking on water”, or anointing those with “holy water”, but testing the waters should not be part of a priest’s vocabulary. ----------------------------------- hope you guys got as much of a chuckle out of that as i did!! - b-dot.

so i got to thinking....

..... about the event from the other day. and it is a really great story to tell, but it could have turned out much worse. in fact i am still getting messages from her, and she isn't getting the hint that i am not responding, so it may still turn out wrongly. like maybe she is thinking "i want to wear your skin to my birthday", or something like that. like silence of the lambs in reverse.......

true story

i have been hanging around a dating site for about 3 weeks now, and have enjoyed chatting with girls on there. meeting some really nice ones that are smart and funny and cute. so i made arrangements to meet up with one for a quick bite last night. this is how it all went down. i don't even know where to begin with what was wrong with the date. but i should have known it was going to be bad when the girl that showed up was NOT EVEN CLOSE to being the same one that was in her profile pics.... and it actually went DOWNHILL from there. it was as if she knew that i was thinking "you psycho girl! you stole someone else's profile pics, and used them as your own". because she pulled out her health card and said that "this picture doesn't look anything like me, does it?" creepy thing is, it DIDN'T look like her, but it also wasn't the girl from the other series of photos either. she was also laughing WAY TOO HARD at my jokes. you know what i mean? i felt like someone had given her a hundred bucks, and said "laugh like you have never met someone so funny in your life". now, don't get me wrong, i am a funny guy, but not THAT funny. it all just seemed so forced. she also tells me that she hasn’t worked in 2 months, and that she recently had to sell her car, in order to give her father money to pay his mortgage. she doesn’t live at home. then she goes on to tell me that she was at the queens recently to celebrate 60 days of "being clean". she didn't say "60 days of not smoking pot", or "60 days without touching drugs". nope. she specifically used the phrase "being clean". that has far too much weight behind it. i am all about giving people a second chance, and letting them get their life sorted out, but when you start to combine this little detail with the others, this becomes a fucking ENORMOUS warning super-light, that rotates really rapidly, and has barbed wire around it, and sirens going off. in surround sound!! so, there we are having something to eat. and she starts telling me that her ex-boyfriend had called her that day. from jail. and that he was telling her that he still loves her. and she then proceeds to tell me that the only reason that they broke up is because he went to jail, and if he hadn't she probably would have stayed with him. are you kidding me? you are telling me that you still love your ex while you are on a date? (at least YOU are still calling it a date. i stopped calling it that about 60 seconds after meeting you). she then starts to tell me that she did "a solid" for her ex once. and then some other words that i don't recall very specifically now, since my head was spinning from the fact she was now using jailhouse lingo to talk to me. i nervously chuckled and said "ha! sounds like you've been to jail once or twice yourself! heh heh!" BINGO!!! turns out that "the solid" she did for her ex, was take the blame for some crime that he committed. so she ended up going to jail even though she didn't do the crime herself. she let them "pin the rap on her". but isn't that what they ALL say in jail? tony : hey louis! what are you in for? louis : i didn't do it!!! i was so bloody freaked out by this girl, that when we parted company, i just wanted to run away. screaming. she reaches in for a hug, and my stupid reflexes kiss her on the cheek and i return the hug. i also say "i'll see you soon." AHHHHHHH!!!! what have i done???? she has since sent me 3 messages to tell me what a great time she had.

i feel bad for laughing.....

..... but WOW!!! this girl.... you know what? just watch it.

hello again!

so i had all these wonderful big ideas about how my next post was going to go. i was going to give this blog a completely new look, and give you guys this awesome video that had interactive embedded controls and hyperlinks built right in to the movie. unfortunately, i couldn't find a video host that would allow that kind of interactivity, and then i just lost my enthusiasm!!! so the video that i have below has some junk in the bottom right corner that look like controls, but i have disabled them in this version, since i could not find a way to allow you to access them. and the blog still looks the same. i am a failure. but i finally figured out the math associated with the manipulation of photos in order to get the results you are about to see. please - let me know what you think in the comments section. i would like to hear from each and every one of you about this. i will even let you post anonymously!! edit : apparently youtube has screwed something up with this movie, and some of the transitions get "stuck" sorry about that...... by the way - i really appreciate your interest in my blog!

2 weeks later!!!

so i started this about two weeks ago, and never managed to fix the problems, but i thought i would share with you anyway, even though some of the material written here doesn't apply any more - like the comments about "stuff below" being messy, since there isn't any "stuff below" that i have included any more......... yes, i realise that this post is all crazy looking, but i am messing around with a bunch of stuff right now. new formats for video (such as interactive controls), new ways of publishing my stuff to this site, and other things. in fact, i have been losing sleep over the excitement i am feeling about the stuff i have been working on. friday night, i was really pumped about the graphics that i had been working on to such an extent, that i didn't go to this house party i was invited to, simply because i wanted to continue to play on my computer. when i finally did meet up with everyone later, (at a bar), i got told off by a few people for being, (in their eyes), "anti-social". apparently they just don't get it. or me. anyway, so the stuff below here is going to look messy until i can figure it all out, but give me some time to figure it all out, and i promise you, it will be worth it. (at least i think the end results will be pretty cool). ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- i have been absolutely astounded by how many people actually care to see what kind of crap i am going to put on this blog thing. my inbox has been jammed with notes saying things like “you’re kidding, right?”. and there have been comments left on the blog as well. i even walked in to my local mac dealer the other day, and apparently both david and jen were “devastated” that i was no longer doing this. so i changed my mind.

.... from the depths of hell and you can smell the smoke

i am about to start posting again. i will do a proper one shortly, (i am trying to iron out some bugs with some new stuff i am messing around with). in the meantime, i created a little post, with voting ability. check it out.

the end........... ?

. i have decided to get off of the internet. i reached the end of it the other day, and now find that it is a black hole that causes me to waste time, when i could be out being creative. and seeing real life, not just the digitised samplings scattered around this series of tubes........ i am going to stop this blog. will i be back? who knows? i will still be doing the email thing, so if you care to stay in touch with me, or tell me how absolutely DEVASTATED you are that i quit this blog, i am reachable here : b.e.n.robertson@mac.com later! "˙uɐds ʇɐɥʇ ɹǝʌo pǝɔnpoɹd sı ʇɹɐ ɟo ʇɹos ʇɐɥʍ ǝǝs puɐ sɹɐǝʎ ǝʌıɟ ɹoɟ ʇǝuɹǝʇuı ǝloɥʍ ǝɥʇ uʍop ʇnɥs oʇ ʇuǝɯıɹǝdxǝ ǝlqıpǝɹɔuı uɐ ǝq plnoʍ ʇı ʞuıɥʇ op ı“ :sʎɐs uɥoɾ uoʇlǝ

keep still boy, no need for static

edit : apparently the image above here isn't showing up for some people. you may click here to see it...... i have been away. and have been enjoying life as much as i possibly can, with great success. i have also been away from the internet for quite some time, but apart from not being able to be in touch with clients, i have really not missed the internet. i spend so much time in front of my computer from day to day, creating or manipulating data or images or video, that it was nice to disconnect for a while. (even though i have still been using my computer to give birth). i have MANY things that i have been working on. some good, some bad and some ugly. i will post more soon. i hope. sort of......

more random-ness, and gooder grammar

this video here is fantastic. it shows a bunch of prisoners doing the dance from the michael jackson video. i especially love the "girl" in the video. this next video is from my childhood, and astounded me to see it. yes, it is a bit boring, but the music is cool, and i absolutely LOVED this video as a kid. hope you enjoy both.

just a little something

. i am currently on tour right now until the end of the month, so i haven't really had time to do anything for the blog. i have been working 17 hour days, which doesn't leave time for much else, not even enough time to sleep. so i give you this video i found the online last week. i like it a lot, and hope you get a kick out of it too..........

there are no stupid questions. only stupid people.

sometimes i get astounded by the absolute stupidity of people. the things that come out of people's mouths never ceases to amaze me. like the time that i had a client say something that made absolutely no sense at all. just to give you a bit of background, in my business, we commonly refer to wireless microphones that clip on to your shirt/suit/blouse/lapel/collar as "lavs". so the client says to me "yes we need lavs, because there's a lot of carpeting." and i don't know what one has to do with the other. i really have no idea what they could possibly be trying to say. i simply responded with "then we will get you lavs!". there was another time at work, when the two dumbest questions i have ever been asked, occurred within ten minutes of each other. (my apologies if you have heard me talk about this before). first question was : "does this elevator go up"? i have no idea why they decided to ask me. i was just casually sitting in the hotel lobby, and i don't think that i looked like an employee. the second question was : "can you tell me where the 'SECOND-FLOOR MEETING ROOMS' are?". seriously. there is no way to answer that question without sounding like a jerk. what are some of the dumbest things you have ever heard people say?

self explanatory

above is how my brain feels right now. and below is a tune that i have liked for quite a while. but it is currently in much higher rotation, because of how life is happening. enjoy!

OK Go! - It’s tough to Have a Crush




by the way, if you like this tune, then you can download it by "right-clicking" on the filename above. and if you REALLY like this tune, then you should go buy their album. .

so completely random

i haven't been feeling very creative lately...... i have been losing sleep, because of a girl. (that may be the subject of another post in the future), so i have just spent a lot of time trying to KILL time. while wandering around the internet today, i came across a reference to a cartoon character that i had forgotten about. a character that was created in 1948, and had his own animated show in the 80's, so i looked it up, (as i often do). this is what i found : "The Shmoo first appeared in the strip in August 1948. According to Shmoo legend, the lovable creature laid eggs, gave milk and died of sheer esctasy when looked at with hunger. The Shmoo loved to be eaten and tasted like any food desired. Anything that delighted people delighted a Shmoo. Fry a Shmoo and it came out chicken. Broil it and it came out steak. Shmoo eyes made terrific suspender buttons. The hide of the Shmoo if cut thin made fine leather and if cut thick made the best lumber. Shmoo whiskers made splendid toothpicks. The Shmoo satisfied all the world's wants. You could never run out of Shmoon (plural of Shmoo) because they multiplied at such an incredible rate. The Shmoo believed that the only way to happiness was to bring happiness to others." how completely insane is THAT??????? what kind of twisted bastard can think of those sorts of things? on a slightly related note, i dated a girl who was perfectly described by the last sentence above.........

night lapse

. the other night i just COULDN'T sleep for some reason. i tried every trick i have, and nothing worked, so i just eventually got out of bed and started messing around on the computer. that is when i had the idea to set the computer for time lapse, and have it record the onset of daylight. this video was recorded from between 0300 and 0600, with some of the boring darkness edited out of the version you see here. i also edited the last 3 seconds of the video to make it go more slowly, so you could catch a glimpse of me after being up for 24 hours. the camera was set to capture one frame every second. hope you like it.

just a quickie

this is just something i did while bored one night. nothing too exciting, but i can tell you that it managed to eat up a LOT of my time. it is surprising how long it took to create this little clip. not sure i like the stop motion stuff, because i am far too impatient.

you've got mail

so..... i have had the past week off from work, and have REALLY been enjoying the time at home, since i haven’t been here much in the past couple of months. one thing that i wasn’t enjoying, was my inbox constantly “chiming” to announce to me that there was a new email for me. i found myself wishing that there was a way for me to distinguish between email from different people, so i started wandering around the internet once again. (side note : this was the absolute DEATH of my productivity yesterday, since i got obsessed with making this little idea work.) i came across some automator suggestions, and started messing around with different methods of letting me know the difference between when an important email arrived, and when an email that i could ignore for a while came in. i ended up using applescript to make this work, but i suppose automator could help you achieve the same thing. sadly, i can’t show you PC users a video of how this works. you will just have to believe me that this works..... now you Mac users are in luck, since i have the files and instructions you need right here....... the nice thing is, i wrote a little section in the script that automatically pauses iTunes, so that you can hear the message, and then resumes iTunes after the message has been spoken! and i guess it is important to mention that this whole project was inspired by marlo superstar, so a big thanks to her! ps - i have also made another little applescript that will play a sound file for “specific” emails, rather than the same sound for every email that arrives. if you are interested, let me know, and i will send it to you......

it's all in the timing

my friend richard posted a piece on his blog recently, about the definition of time, and he managed to get some excellent responses, aside from the usual "it's the fourth dimension". and i had posted a video last week, which was "time lapse" so, in keeping with this whole "time theme" that seems to be happening, my brain started thinking about the phrase : "time flies like an arrow". this sentence is one of my favourite examples of how the english language is not only complicated, but also how different words can have more than one meaning, yet maintain the same spelling. (homographs). (which SOUNDS like a concept that my friend rich should be familiar with). in the original interpretation of this statement, we are comparing how the passing of time is similar to the movement of an arrow. but there are other ways for this sentence to be understood...... 1. measure time for flies as you would for arrows 2. there is a kind of fly, (called a "time fly"), and it is fond of arrows 3. there are flies that resemble arrows. measure their speed 4. measure time for flies as an arrow would obviously, a couple of these interpretations are not really possible, but i am still fascinated by the different way to read this. what are some phrases that YOU find don't make a lot of sense, or can be interpreted in more than one way?

summer's approach

. last night, i was out playing basketball with a friend, and we were amazed by the amount of bugs flying up to the huge lights shining down on the courts. all kinds of moths and mayflies and junebugs. i found myself marveling over the fact that if they are insects of the night, then why would they be drawn to such a bright object, which will almost definitely cause them to perish? then i thought of the song by jethro tull, where the frontman, (ian anderson), sings : "The leaded window opened To move the dancing candle flame And the first moths of summer Suicidal came." i looked down on the ground and saw this absolutely STUNNING moth, just fluttering around : the photo just doesn't really do it any justice, since the lens isn't meant to do close-up photography, or even high resolution images. it is, after all, just a phone. i found it rather strange that after all the time i have spent outside in the evenings of the summer, that i have NEVER managed to see anything even remotely close to this beautiful insect. off on another part of the court, i found another interesting moth, that looked like a small version of the hummingbird moth, but didn't manage to take any pictures. and just to fill my narcissism quota for this blog, here is a picture of the moth compared to my hand, in order to give you some perspective on size. i measured the distance afterwards, and the wingspan on this gorgeous moth is around 7 cm. edit : i got the measurements wrong. i was a stupid idiot, and measured the wrong span on my hand. while looking at the picture of my hand. i don't think i can get any more stupid than that. i have corrected above as soon as i have managed to identify what kind of moth it is, i will post it right here : edit : 06.07.07 one of the faithful readers of this tiny blog, (Honker), managed to find out what kind of moth i happened to see. it turns out it is the Hyalophora Cecropia well done, Honker. feel free to stop by the comments section, and thank him for helping solve this mystery!!!

how i stay alert

work was a little more boring than usual today. so i decided to fool around with the camera built in to the computer, and see what kind of cool stuff i could do. you get to see me at my most bored. and a couple of times you can see me get incredibly sleepy, and there are a couple of times you can see me giggling. one of them is because i was flicking little balls of tape at my friend marta, through a little opening, (really not funny unless you are tired, like i was). i am pretty impressed with the results. let me know what YOU think! edit : i just noticed, while showing a friend the results of my "time-lapse" movie, that there is a spelling mistake. i wrote "py attention", instead of "pay attention", and it is driving me crazy that i know it is there!!!! edit 2 : i fixed the video ending, for the whiny complainers, (looking at you, dickcherry), that couldn't figure out that the video had ended when it went to black, but music kept playing. but i couldn't be bothered to fix the spelling mistake. it meant i had to re-edit the whole movie. and really couldn't be arsed, since it is just a cheesy video anyway!

inspired by an unstable character with destructive tendencies

when i was younger, i was obsessed with scaring people. i loved to make people jump out of their skin. i think that this was mostly because i was such a coward myself. (in fact, i am still scared of dark basements, since i am convinced that all manner of scary things lurk there). there were a couple of times i REALLY managed to freak my poor brother out. (sam, if you are reading, i am mostly sorry). the first time, he and i were watching a horror movie that had literally MILLIONS a creepy crawly insects all over the place. sam, (the poor bastard), happened to be laying on the floor watching this movie, and was resting his head on a cushion. i quietly crawled up behind him and gently tickled his ear in the manner an insect might do it. i have never seen anyone leap that high off of the ground before, as he tried to wipe off all of the imaginary bugs that his terrified mind assumed were crawling all over him. oh man, how i laughed!!! the second time, was far worse. we both had these creepy looking clown masks, that i believe we wore one year for halloween. i thought it would be funny to try and scare my brother in some way, so that he wouldn't like the mask any longer. my plan worked a little too well. i put the mask on, and then went to find the biggest kitchen knife we had in the house. i then came creeping up the stairs, brought the knife out in front of me, and peeked my eyes around the top of the stairs. when i was fairly sure that my brother was confused by what exactly was going on, i moved the knife into a threatening posture, moved my clown-mask-head fully in to view, and made this awful noise, which in my memory, sounded like a demented goat. sam's face contorted, and he started to cry instantly. he tried to climb backwards, in order to escape this demon that had come to claim his soul. i instantly felt bad, and quickly took the mask off in order to remove the fear he was experiencing. so i guess i am not ENTIRELY evil. what is the worst fright YOU have ever given to someone? ps - i realise that i probably didn't write the above story very well, but i am at work, and my attention keeps getting distracted by stupid work stuff......

bizarro world

so i finally got a couple of days off, after two BRUTAL weeks of work. and i have done absolutely nothing. except get drunk. which is probably a bad thing, but in my defence, it wasn't exactly like it was a mission of mine. i didn't say to myself "i am going to be drunk lots this weekend". it just kind of happened by accident. especially yesterday. now i feel gross. and unrested. and now i have to go work for another week. damn. i truly believed that i was going to have a really productive weekend. the only thing that i managed to produce was waste. i am a terrible human being.

it ain't easy, being green

so i was messing around with the camera in my phone the other day, and managed to capture a really neat photo of myself. i projected some light on to my face, and switched the camera to "negative" mode, (which is how i take MOST of the photos with my phone), and the result was, to me, pretty impressive. then, while working on a client project, i was messing around with a specific style of dissolve for their logo, and came up with an interesting dissolve technique, and i decided to use the same approach with the photo i captured of myself a couple of days previous. as always, no manipulation of the photo was done after it was stored on my phone. here is what i ended up with........

search string

as many of you know, i am absolutely fascinated with the english language, and especially the origin of the words we use. i am constantly trying to find their etymologies and derivations. i have many books and dictionaries at home that help me find this information. i also have several dictionaries on my computer that i refer on a regular basis - greek, latin, and so forth. when i am at work, one of the ways i kill time during a boring meeting, is play a type of word association game in my head, where i try and see if i can guess the synonyms of a word that one of presenters just used. quite often, presenters use the wrong words for what they are intending to say, and i am not sure if it is because they lack the vocabulary that is necessary to convey what they intended to, or if they are just distracted by what they are trying to say, that they often just get their words mixed up. one of the presenters today said something like "the libraries are RIPE with information", and although the image that comes to mind when you hear this seems to suggest that it is the correct word, i had a feeling that the presenter meant to use the word RIFE. so i looked it up. in the definition, it suggested to see the "note" at the word PREVALENT. it is normal for a dictionary to suggest synonyms for any particular word, but it was unusual to see a reference to a note of a different word. in addition to that peculiarity, there was a substantial note attempting to clarify the subtle differences between synonyms. very odd. it seems as though the lexicographers had a particular pet peeve for the usage of this word. here is the note that the dictionary referred me to........... Wildflowers might be prevalent in the mountains during the spring months, but a particular type of wildflower might be the prevailing one. Prevalent, in other words, implies widespread occurrence or acceptance in a particular place or time (: a prevalent belief during the nineteenth century), while prevailing suggests that something exists in such quantity that it surpasses or leads all others in acceptance, usage, or belief (the prevailing theory about the evolution of man). Wildflowers might also be abundant in the valleys—a word that, unlike prevalent and prevailing, is largely restricted to observations about a place and may suggest oversupply (: an abundant harvest; indications of decay were abundant). Plentiful, on the other hand, refers to a large or full supply without the connotations of oversupply (: a country where jobs were plentiful). If wildflowers are rife, it means that they are not only prevalent but spreading rapidly (: speculation was rife among the soldiers). If they're copious, it means they are being produced in such quantity that they constitute a rich or flowing abundance (: weep copious tears). What often happens, with wildflowers as well as with other beautiful things, is that they become so abundant they are regarded as common, a word meaning usual or ordinary (: the common cold). Like prevalent, common can apply to a time as well as a place (: an expression common during the Depression). But neither abundant nor common connotes dominance as clearly as prevalent does. here are some other words that came up today and caught my ear : - boolean - abstention

just because

. i haven't posted in over a week. why? well the last video i posted, i made while i had a fever. and the fever got worse, so i spent the next few days lying in bed, trying to get better. and then work happened. (as well as a bit of laziness in between, where i wasn't feeling very inspired). so where does that leave you and i? well that leaves you with nothing very exciting to read, and me trying desperately to find something to post here, that people will actually want to read. and now i am suffering from writers' block. it sucks. and this post is all that there is to show you. how sad.

the babies of boredom

this video is what happens when i am suffering from extreme boredom, and can't be bothered to do any of the work that i really should have been spending time on.

something to declare

i was on a plane today, (in fact, i am on the plane right now, flying from calagry to montreal, as i write this), and i was listening to the safety announcements about emergency exits, and how the floor lights up along the aisle in a situation of emergency. i was watching the flight attendants go through the motions of amazingly coordinated hand gestures, and thinking to myself how similar they looked like synchronized swimmers, (without the nose plugs and bathing cap). and it occured to me that not only is this something that they are legally required to do before each gtake off, but they must have to go and take a course on very specific hand movements that are universally understood. sort of like how you can tell which washroom is for men, and which one is for women, or how you are not allowed to smoke in certain areas, no matter what language you speak. anyway, they get to the part in the presentation where they explain, that in certain situations, parts of the ceiling will open up, and oxygen masks will drop out. if this occurs, you are meant to place the mask over your own head first, (before worrying about assisting those around you), make sure it fits tightly, and breathe normally. this made me giggle. i turned to the person beside me, and pointed out, that if we were in an emergency situation, and the oxygen masks dropped from the ceiling, the LAST thing we would be doing after we put them over our faces, would be breathing normally! we continue to taxi down the runway, get into out final position, and the captain comes over the speaker system, and tells the flight crew to sit down and prepare for take off. this element of the flight, is always my favourite, since the plane has to be travelling somwhere in the neighbourhood of 300 km/h in order to get off the ground. in fact, the larger planes have to reach a speed of about 340 km/h in order to get the necessary lift. so, we are hurtling down the runway, and just as we are about to start our ascent, the pilot hits the brakes. HARD. he activated the brakes so hard, that some of the people on the plane smacked their faces on the seat in front of them. but surprisingly, no one made any noises of surprise or pain. everyone was surprisingly quiet. perhaps they were all expecting to be told that something very bad had happened the captain then comes over the speaker system, and announces that he had to abort the take-off, because someone was on the runway in front of the plane, that the authorities have been called, and that they are on their way to intercept this man. after about a minute or so, i see the guy on the right side of the plane just casually strolling along another runway. then a truck shows up, and stops in front of him. the guy gets down on the ground, and another truck shows up, and the drivers of both vehicles get out, while pointing shotguns at him. (that is what you can see in the picture, although it isn't very clear, since i had taken the photo with my phone, and had to rely on the poor quality digital zoom). i guess that is pretty well the end of the story, apart from the fact that we had to go back to the gate that we left from in order for the brakes to cool down from the stress they just went through. and we also needed to re-fuel, since the pilot had to put the engines in such a heavy reverse thrust, in order to get the plane to stop in time. strangely, the only information i was able to find to prove that this actually happened, (and to follow up on what happened with this poor guy who was on the runway), was this little story.

jasmo

my friend jasmine has been posting stuff to her blog for a while now, but i didn't know about it until recently when i saw her at a bar in toronto. her writing style is MUCH more creative than mine, and is amusing to read. anyway, i gave her some tech advice, and as a show of appreciation, she posted this little item

"Not bad meaning bad, but bad meaning good"

A synonym is a word that means the same as another. "Necessary" and "required" are synonyms. An antonym is a word that means the opposite of another. "Wet" and "dry" are antonyms. While synonyms and antonyms are not in themselves interesting, the complexities and irregularities of the English language sometimes makes synonyms and antonyms interesting to explore. Many complexities result from words having multiple definitions. A trivial example is a word with synonyms that aren't synonyms of each other, the word "beam," for example, having the synonyms "bar" and "shine." Similarly, some words have antonyms that are neither synonyms nor antonyms of each other but completely unrelated: the word "right," for example, having the antonyms "wrong" and "left." A more interesting paradox occurs with the word groom, which does not really have an antonym in the strictest sense but has an opposite of sorts in the word bride, which can be used as a prefix to create a synonym, bridegroom. The word contronym (also the synonym antagonym) is used to refer to words that, by some freak of language evolution, are their own antonyms. Both contronym and antagonym are neologisms; however, there is no alternative term that is more established in the English language. Contronyms are special cases of homographs (two words with the same spelling). Some examples: * anabasis - military advance, military retreat * apology - admission of fault in what you think, say, or do; formal defense of what you think, say, or do * aught - all, nothing * bolt - secure, run away * by - multiplication (e.g., a three by five matrix), division (e.g., dividing eight by four) * chuffed - pleased, annoyed * cleave - separate, adhere * clip - fasten, detach * consult - ask for advice, give advice * copemate - partner, antagonist * custom - usual, special * deceptively smart - smarter than one appears, dumber than one appears * dike - wall, ditch * discursive - proceeding coherently from topic to topic, moving aimlessly from topic to topic * dollop - a large amount, a small amount * dust - add fine particles, remove fine particles * enjoin - prescribe, prohibit * fast - quick, unmoving * first degree - most severe (e.g., murder), least severe (e.g., burn) * fix - restore, castrate * flog - criticize harshly, promote aggressively * garnish - enhance (e.g., food), curtail (e.g., wages) * give out - produce, stop production * grade - incline, level * handicap - advantage, disadvantage * help - assist, prevent (e.g., "I can't help it if...") * left - remaining, departed from * liege - sovereign lord, loyal subject * mean - average, excellent (e.g., "plays a mean game") * off - off, on (e.g., "the alarm went off") * out - visible (e.g., stars), invisible (e.g., lights) * out of - outside, inside (e.g., "work out of one's home") * oversight - error, care * pitted - with the pit in, with the pit removed * put out - extinguish, generate (e.g., something putting out light) * quiddity - essence, trifling point * quite - rather, completely * ravel - tangle, disentangle * rent - buy use of, sell use of * sanction - approve, boycott * sanguine - hopeful, murderous (obsolete synonym for "sanguinary") * screen - show, hide * seed - add seeds (e.g., "to seed a field"), remove seeds (e.g., "to seed a tomato") * skinned - with the skin on, with the skin removed * strike - hit, miss (in baseball) * table - propose (in the United Kingdom), set aside (in the United States) * transparent - invisible, obvious * unbending - rigid, relaxing * variety - one type (e.g., "this variety"), many types (e.g., "a variety") * wear - endure through use, decay through use * weather - withstand, wear away * wind up - end, start up (e.g., a watch) * with - alongside, against

just some fooling around with photos

major mishap

so i just got a new computer, and i am VERY much in love. she and i spent the entire weekend together, and it was wonderful. so i go to turn back to my other computer, and get all the important information off of it, and it doesn't work any more. all of my calendar information about when i am working for the next 5 months was on there. it's like the old computer got jealous and deliberately stopped working. there are other files that i needed from that computer too, but none as important as the calendar information. the good news is that i have the info that i need on my mobile phone, so i will just "sync" the information between the phone and the new computer. problem solved, right? WRONG! the stupid computer completely erased ALL of my contacts that were in my address book for some reason. there were somewhere around 200 numbers in there that i needed. work and personal. now i am TOTALLY screwed. i have no idea when i am supposed to be working, (beyond the next two weeks), and i know that i am going to end up having some clients get angry with me, since i won't be showing up for some of the work that i booked. that is very, very bad news. this is an example of the kind of things that happen with me and technology at home. i am a total wizard with technology when i am at work, (which is good, because i get paid well to do it), but when i try to do something at home, it all fails miserably. i think it is some sort of "cosmic trade-off", where i can either be good with technology at work, OR at home. just not both. i am so fucking annoyed right now, i just want to smash stuff.

quick logo

this is something that i designed for a group that i am associated with here in toronto. i realise it is not anything special, but i am trying to get into the habit of posting stuff on a regular basis. edit : apparently it no longer shows up as animated right away on some browsers - click on it to see how it should appear.

happy easter

. so jesus walks in to a hotel, and throws a couple of nails on the counter. he then says to the man behind the desk : "can you put me up for the night?" .

frickin' awesome!

this video is too excellent for words. well, except for these words : 10 minutes of extremely gruesome french-canadian hilarity!!!!! check it!

arrrrggghhhhh.

i apologise to anyone who actually cares about whether or not i manage to post something here, but every time i have gone to add something new here, my computer crashes, and i lose the magnificent work that i was about to post. i promise i will be posting more here in the future, i just have to wait for my computer to get better, and allow me to finally get something posted.

improv concert on the french metro

can you imagine stepping on to a train for your boring commute, and experiencing this? how can you not do anything for the rest of the day, but smile after seeing this on your way to/from work?

logo (f)art

this is just a quick video of an experiment i have been working on. i am trying to create a fancy logo background for my clients, in order to make myself a little more valuable to them - and by offering a service that other technicians are not providing. here's to hoping i increase my worth. ps - notice that my name flashes lightly in the video

another dream

please keep in mind that this was all just a dream, so it makes the story a little more interesting, especially when you consider how much thought was happening while i was actually still asleep. i was in a hotel in africa, and i picked up a copy of wired magazine. just as i was starting to get bored by the articles, i turn to a story about a small town in bulgaria, which, as it happens, was written by my friend richard cherry. i get so excited by this, that i head down to a cafe, and try to write a quick note to him in my journal. the waiter comes up to me and speaks to me in a language i don't know, and i simply respond with "coffee, please". he seems impressed that i knew what he was saying, and says something else to me in his language and hurries off to get my order. i look down the street, and notice an open air market, with hundreds of people scurrying about getting on with their lives, and i decide that i should go check that out later, but i make the realisation that i should probably leave my wallet back at the hotel, because this looks like the kind of crowd that you can't trust. while continuing to sit there, ignoring the note i had started to write, it all of a sudden it occurs to me that there is a small dog peeing on the leg of my table, and the urine is then splashing on to my leg and shoe. i kick the dog away, and turn back to my note, which has now blown away, and i have no idea where it has gone. i decide that it was a silly idea to have been writing a note to richard in the first place, since i only have his email address, but also understand that writing things down while traveling is a much more romantic way of capturing my thoughts and stories. while scanning the ground surrounding me to try and see if i can recover my wind swept note, i see an old leather bound journal sitting about 3 or 4 meters away from me, and think that perhaps i might go and pick it up, and use that as my new journal. and i would make an honest effort to write more things down, and even try to doodle/sketch. and i think about how neglected my blog has been, and that perhaps i should contribute something to it soon, but i don't feel that i have anything worthwhile, or anything that people would be interested in reading. i realise that if i wrote more, i could be as good as richard some day. then again, maybe not.

Help The Police

this is far too hilarious! i find it is funnier the more that i watch it.

this girl i met

So i am at the bar one night, (Queen's stinkside), and i am just standing there ogling girls, (because i haven't worked up the courage to go talk to any of them), and this girl just randomly walks up to me and starts mocking the way i am chewing my gum. she goes so far as to suggest that i chew like some sort of ruminant. so i laugh, and ask her if she wants a piece, (intentional triple entendre), and she says yes. so off we go to my coat, i reach in to the pocket and get her a piece of gum, and we start chatting. we have a good time chatting with each other, and we are really hitting it off. it turns out her name is vicki, and she is a guard at a jail up in penetang, and she is there with a bunch of her guard buddies from work. i tell her that she is probably the prettiest guard on the planet, and she responds with "no, there a guards that are much prettier than her". i respond with "well if that is the case, then i need to get into much more trouble", or something similar. we go up on the dance floor, and have a few laughs. her guard-buddies are there too, (and let me tell you, that the other girls there LOOK like prison guards. big, beefy proto-lesbian prison guards). we have such a good time that at the end of the night, i ask for her phone number, and she gives it to me, just before heading off to the washroom. her friend kate comes up to me and says, "i really think you should give vicki a call", and then proceeds to give me vicki's phone number. so i look into my phone book, and they both match, so it looks like this girl is serious. i hang around with them while they are getting their coats on, and then we head outside so they can get a cab. we hang around for a few more minutes, and then it is time for them to go. quite spontaneously, vicki and i kiss each other quickly. and we part company. and i couldn't stop thinking about her. i call her a day later, (which i have just learned, is the protocol for future dates to be secured), and let her know that i had a good time, and i want to see her again, but that i will be out of town for a week, so i will call her again when i get back into town, and when i return, i do call her. i have really been looking forward to seeing her, because we really connected well that night. once again i get her answering machine, but i leave a message, and tell her that i am looking forward to hanging out with her again, and i leave my number. and i never hear from her. two or three weeks goes by, and i am wondering what happened to her. why didn't i hear from her? i know that i had the right number because not only did i get the same number twice from two different sources, but the answering machine said vicki on it. so what is up? should i call her? why didn't she return my calls. perhaps she has a boyfriend, and just happened to be feeling frisky that night. but at least she could have called and said that she wasn't interested in hanging out. then it dawns on me that i also have the phone number of her friend kate. so i decide to send kate a text message to see if she can offer me any insight for the situation. and this is how it all went down. ben : your friend vicki never called me back, which sucks, because i was really hoping to see her again! any idea why i never heard from her? kate : because you have a criminal record. ben : Haha! Whatever! kate : no really. you were a young offender. ben (kind of pissed off right now) : Wow. that is a shame that i am not allowed to be such a totally different person than when i was a kid. that kinda stings. kate : what is your middle name and D.O.B., so i can make sure she looked. maybe i can clear your name. ben : no, she is correct. i was a huge badass when i was younger. have been a good boy since i was 20. nevermind. thanks for your help kate! kate : sorry. that's the down side of the job. for what it's worth, we still think you are a nice guy. no hard feelings. ben : totally makes sense, but it totally sucks. i will start ball rolling on a pardon. perhaps i will call her then. thanks again! later. kate : good idea. once again sorry. ben : not your fault. hazard of the job. but thank you so much for shedding some light on the situation. very much appreciated! have a good night. kate : night. i really don't know what else to say about this subject, other than i can't ask the poor girl to jeopardize her career because of me, but what a load of horse shit. anyone care to offer their opinion on the subject? .

sound check

below is a piece of music that i found while running around the interweb, and thought that some of you might like to have a listen to it, so i posted it here. let me know what you think, so i may post more music here in the future. you will need flash installed on your system to hear it properly. Young Americans - "Turning Inside Out" .

verbs before nouns

so today while doing some reading, i came across the phrase "verbs before nouns", (it was actually the title of a song), and it got me to wondering why the word "noun" is actually a noun, but the word "verb" is not a verb, but is in fact also a noun. my mind then started to wander a bit more and i began pondering over the accuracy of the statement. if there was a verb in the sentence, and it followed the word verb, it would make the sentence factually incorrect, kind of like as if i was to say "i am a liar, and therefore i always lie". this is a classic philosophical paradox. if i am always a liar, then by TELLING you that i am always a liar, means that i am telling you the truth, and therefore i am not always a liar, making the accuracy of the statement come into question. but at the same time, i could also be lying by telling you that i always lie, when in fact i am telling you truth, which would mean i am NOT telling you the truth, which would make the statement a lie. kind of circular, no? does any of this make sense? i am starting to think that i may have just confused myself........... anyway, if you want to check out more philosophical paradoxes, you can find them here.