so i have been hearing lots of dating horror stories from all kinds of people, since i posted this one.
in fact a friend has allowed me to post her TOP TEN worst dates, and i figured you guys would all get a kick out of reading them. her blurb is really well written.
please enjoy!!
ps - i have another friend who has bad dating stories - perhaps i can convince her to let me post one or two of them, if you guys let me know that you are interested!!!
----------------------------------------------
I have compiled a list of the 10 worst dates I have now been on from internet dating, and would like to share them with you so that you can take notes, compare yourself to these people, and if you see any resemblance what so ever to yourself, then I respectfully request you do not contact me and move right along. Ok? Seriously. I'm not joking. K.
10. Date with fireman. Continuous asked me if he was hot enough to be in the calendar this year. 20 times he said, “Seriously, dude, am I hot enough? Cause I think I’m hot enough? Am I hot enough????” Blazeboy, you were not hot enough, and your constant compliment seeking made me want to light you on fire.
9. Second date brought bible to our meeting. He found God, and apparently, didn’t want to leave him at home. I love God, we all should. But not at Sticky Fingers on a Wed night when wings are cheap.
8. Met cop at restaurant, he proceeded to drink in copious amounts of beer, than he stole the mug by putting it under his shirt. Then he drove me home, drunk. By the way did I mention he’s a COP?
7. I’m not even going to tell you about my 4th date because I tend to get a bit choked up and I am trying to keep the mood light. I don’t have a cat anymore. Anyways.
6. Met someone at Starbuck's. Had great chat for about 10 minutes, thought things were well. His ex girlfriend walked in. She came over said hi. He said hi. He said to me, excuse me for a second. He followed her outside to talk to her. He didn’t come back. This is not a joke.
5. The quickest date happened next, when the man whom I was suppose to be meeting had sent me picture of 6 foot tall, brown hair blue eyed good looking realtor. When 5"4 pakistani who was slightly balding introduced himself to me at Tiff’s as “Rick*”, I immediately got up and left. I am not racist, but I was PISSED. He sent me email later apologizing saying he was having trouble meeting girls the “normal” way and that he had hoped he could “win” me over with his personality. HA!
4. This date never showed. And it’s only making my list because when I went to my car I had a flat tire and had to wait 2 hours for CAA to come change it. And it was HOT outside.
3. Reformed alcoholic who didn’t tell me until after he had had 2 beers but was so nervous he thought it would help him “relax”. Um, I don’t know what ever happened to him, but I’m hoping he left our date and went straight to AA meeting.
2. Married man, didn’t even bother to take ring off, came right out and said he really only wanted to have a sexual encounter but wanted to see me in person before he decided. I flirted a bit, got him to tell me what he did for a living. Said I had to go, and would email him. Called his work the next day, talked to receptionist, found out his wife’s name, googled her, and sent her email. Hey, I might be blond, but I’m resourceful and SMART. Just not smart apparently when it comes to sniffing out the married.
1. And the number one worst date, by far, had to be with- and folks- I am NOT joking- with a PRIEST. A serious, real live priest, who was contemplating leaving the church and thought this would be the best way to “test the waters”. I might understand “walking on water”, or anointing those with “holy water”, but testing the waters should not be part of a priest’s vocabulary.
-----------------------------------
hope you guys got as much of a chuckle out of that as i did!! - b-dot.
11.9.07
dating stories galore!!!!!
so i have been hearing lots of dating horror stories from all kinds of people, since i posted this one.
in fact a friend has allowed me to post her TOP TEN worst dates, and i figured you guys would all get a kick out of reading them. her blurb is really well written.
please enjoy!!
ps - i have another friend who has bad dating stories - perhaps i can convince her to let me post one or two of them, if you guys let me know that you are interested!!!
----------------------------------------------
I have compiled a list of the 10 worst dates I have now been on from internet dating, and would like to share them with you so that you can take notes, compare yourself to these people, and if you see any resemblance what so ever to yourself, then I respectfully request you do not contact me and move right along. Ok? Seriously. I'm not joking. K.
10. Date with fireman. Continuous asked me if he was hot enough to be in the calendar this year. 20 times he said, “Seriously, dude, am I hot enough? Cause I think I’m hot enough? Am I hot enough????” Blazeboy, you were not hot enough, and your constant compliment seeking made me want to light you on fire.
9. Second date brought bible to our meeting. He found God, and apparently, didn’t want to leave him at home. I love God, we all should. But not at Sticky Fingers on a Wed night when wings are cheap.
8. Met cop at restaurant, he proceeded to drink in copious amounts of beer, than he stole the mug by putting it under his shirt. Then he drove me home, drunk. By the way did I mention he’s a COP?
7. I’m not even going to tell you about my 4th date because I tend to get a bit choked up and I am trying to keep the mood light. I don’t have a cat anymore. Anyways.
6. Met someone at Starbuck's. Had great chat for about 10 minutes, thought things were well. His ex girlfriend walked in. She came over said hi. He said hi. He said to me, excuse me for a second. He followed her outside to talk to her. He didn’t come back. This is not a joke.
5. The quickest date happened next, when the man whom I was suppose to be meeting had sent me picture of 6 foot tall, brown hair blue eyed good looking realtor. When 5"4 pakistani who was slightly balding introduced himself to me at Tiff’s as “Rick*”, I immediately got up and left. I am not racist, but I was PISSED. He sent me email later apologizing saying he was having trouble meeting girls the “normal” way and that he had hoped he could “win” me over with his personality. HA!
4. This date never showed. And it’s only making my list because when I went to my car I had a flat tire and had to wait 2 hours for CAA to come change it. And it was HOT outside.
3. Reformed alcoholic who didn’t tell me until after he had had 2 beers but was so nervous he thought it would help him “relax”. Um, I don’t know what ever happened to him, but I’m hoping he left our date and went straight to AA meeting.
2. Married man, didn’t even bother to take ring off, came right out and said he really only wanted to have a sexual encounter but wanted to see me in person before he decided. I flirted a bit, got him to tell me what he did for a living. Said I had to go, and would email him. Called his work the next day, talked to receptionist, found out his wife’s name, googled her, and sent her email. Hey, I might be blond, but I’m resourceful and SMART. Just not smart apparently when it comes to sniffing out the married.
1. And the number one worst date, by far, had to be with- and folks- I am NOT joking- with a PRIEST. A serious, real live priest, who was contemplating leaving the church and thought this would be the best way to “test the waters”. I might understand “walking on water”, or anointing those with “holy water”, but testing the waters should not be part of a priest’s vocabulary.
-----------------------------------
hope you guys got as much of a chuckle out of that as i did!! - b-dot.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
i stopped reading at "I love god, we all should".
stopped again after "i'm not racist, but..."
no, i really stopped
you honestly stopped reading, dick? come on now - i don't believe that for a second! at least, that's what i hope is the case.
in fact - if it is true that you really stopped reading, i am a bit angry at you for being so "snooty". not everyone around either of us is as cosmopolitan as you and i are. and for you to dismiss someone for trying to qualify their sentence, (that could potentially be misinterpreted in all the wrong ways than what was intended), is exactly why a statement like that had to be issued.
sadly - i live in an area where racism and intolerance run RAMPANT, and so does my guest contributor. i actually heard the "N" word no less than twelve times last night. just about drove me crazy!
i really don't know what else to say right now - i am tired and already grumpy. but really felt i absolutely MUST make a comment on what you said.
i am not sure that i made my point very well......
it was suppose to be funny. Dick. And I seriously doubt you stopped reading.
sorry. i was crabby too when i was reading it. :O)
I thought they were great.... it reminds me of why i hate dating!
But one question.....How hot was the Firefighter?:-)
you know what i hate the MOST about dating?
having to hold in a fart for 2 whole hours........
hey, a fart is the end result of the poo moving around in your bowels when your tummy grumbles. REMEMBER?????
P.S. Julie he was not hot AT ALL. Yuckers.
I thought the stories were interesting enough but honestly....I would have got the hell off that dating sight after 2 or 3 max bad dates. I'm not sure why you would want to waste your valuable evenings and weekends on disturbed people.
and by sight....I mean site, of course.
Post a Comment