29.4.07

the babies of boredom

this video is what happens when i am suffering from extreme boredom, and can't be bothered to do any of the work that i really should have been spending time on.

27.4.07

something to declare

i was on a plane today, (in fact, i am on the plane right now, flying from calagry to montreal, as i write this), and i was listening to the safety announcements about emergency exits, and how the floor lights up along the aisle in a situation of emergency. i was watching the flight attendants go through the motions of amazingly coordinated hand gestures, and thinking to myself how similar they looked like synchronized swimmers, (without the nose plugs and bathing cap). and it occured to me that not only is this something that they are legally required to do before each gtake off, but they must have to go and take a course on very specific hand movements that are universally understood. sort of like how you can tell which washroom is for men, and which one is for women, or how you are not allowed to smoke in certain areas, no matter what language you speak. anyway, they get to the part in the presentation where they explain, that in certain situations, parts of the ceiling will open up, and oxygen masks will drop out. if this occurs, you are meant to place the mask over your own head first, (before worrying about assisting those around you), make sure it fits tightly, and breathe normally. this made me giggle. i turned to the person beside me, and pointed out, that if we were in an emergency situation, and the oxygen masks dropped from the ceiling, the LAST thing we would be doing after we put them over our faces, would be breathing normally! we continue to taxi down the runway, get into out final position, and the captain comes over the speaker system, and tells the flight crew to sit down and prepare for take off. this element of the flight, is always my favourite, since the plane has to be travelling somwhere in the neighbourhood of 300 km/h in order to get off the ground. in fact, the larger planes have to reach a speed of about 340 km/h in order to get the necessary lift. so, we are hurtling down the runway, and just as we are about to start our ascent, the pilot hits the brakes. HARD. he activated the brakes so hard, that some of the people on the plane smacked their faces on the seat in front of them. but surprisingly, no one made any noises of surprise or pain. everyone was surprisingly quiet. perhaps they were all expecting to be told that something very bad had happened the captain then comes over the speaker system, and announces that he had to abort the take-off, because someone was on the runway in front of the plane, that the authorities have been called, and that they are on their way to intercept this man. after about a minute or so, i see the guy on the right side of the plane just casually strolling along another runway. then a truck shows up, and stops in front of him. the guy gets down on the ground, and another truck shows up, and the drivers of both vehicles get out, while pointing shotguns at him. (that is what you can see in the picture, although it isn't very clear, since i had taken the photo with my phone, and had to rely on the poor quality digital zoom). i guess that is pretty well the end of the story, apart from the fact that we had to go back to the gate that we left from in order for the brakes to cool down from the stress they just went through. and we also needed to re-fuel, since the pilot had to put the engines in such a heavy reverse thrust, in order to get the plane to stop in time. strangely, the only information i was able to find to prove that this actually happened, (and to follow up on what happened with this poor guy who was on the runway), was this little story.

19.4.07

jasmo

my friend jasmine has been posting stuff to her blog for a while now, but i didn't know about it until recently when i saw her at a bar in toronto. her writing style is MUCH more creative than mine, and is amusing to read. anyway, i gave her some tech advice, and as a show of appreciation, she posted this little item

18.4.07

"Not bad meaning bad, but bad meaning good"

A synonym is a word that means the same as another. "Necessary" and "required" are synonyms. An antonym is a word that means the opposite of another. "Wet" and "dry" are antonyms. While synonyms and antonyms are not in themselves interesting, the complexities and irregularities of the English language sometimes makes synonyms and antonyms interesting to explore. Many complexities result from words having multiple definitions. A trivial example is a word with synonyms that aren't synonyms of each other, the word "beam," for example, having the synonyms "bar" and "shine." Similarly, some words have antonyms that are neither synonyms nor antonyms of each other but completely unrelated: the word "right," for example, having the antonyms "wrong" and "left." A more interesting paradox occurs with the word groom, which does not really have an antonym in the strictest sense but has an opposite of sorts in the word bride, which can be used as a prefix to create a synonym, bridegroom. The word contronym (also the synonym antagonym) is used to refer to words that, by some freak of language evolution, are their own antonyms. Both contronym and antagonym are neologisms; however, there is no alternative term that is more established in the English language. Contronyms are special cases of homographs (two words with the same spelling). Some examples: * anabasis - military advance, military retreat * apology - admission of fault in what you think, say, or do; formal defense of what you think, say, or do * aught - all, nothing * bolt - secure, run away * by - multiplication (e.g., a three by five matrix), division (e.g., dividing eight by four) * chuffed - pleased, annoyed * cleave - separate, adhere * clip - fasten, detach * consult - ask for advice, give advice * copemate - partner, antagonist * custom - usual, special * deceptively smart - smarter than one appears, dumber than one appears * dike - wall, ditch * discursive - proceeding coherently from topic to topic, moving aimlessly from topic to topic * dollop - a large amount, a small amount * dust - add fine particles, remove fine particles * enjoin - prescribe, prohibit * fast - quick, unmoving * first degree - most severe (e.g., murder), least severe (e.g., burn) * fix - restore, castrate * flog - criticize harshly, promote aggressively * garnish - enhance (e.g., food), curtail (e.g., wages) * give out - produce, stop production * grade - incline, level * handicap - advantage, disadvantage * help - assist, prevent (e.g., "I can't help it if...") * left - remaining, departed from * liege - sovereign lord, loyal subject * mean - average, excellent (e.g., "plays a mean game") * off - off, on (e.g., "the alarm went off") * out - visible (e.g., stars), invisible (e.g., lights) * out of - outside, inside (e.g., "work out of one's home") * oversight - error, care * pitted - with the pit in, with the pit removed * put out - extinguish, generate (e.g., something putting out light) * quiddity - essence, trifling point * quite - rather, completely * ravel - tangle, disentangle * rent - buy use of, sell use of * sanction - approve, boycott * sanguine - hopeful, murderous (obsolete synonym for "sanguinary") * screen - show, hide * seed - add seeds (e.g., "to seed a field"), remove seeds (e.g., "to seed a tomato") * skinned - with the skin on, with the skin removed * strike - hit, miss (in baseball) * table - propose (in the United Kingdom), set aside (in the United States) * transparent - invisible, obvious * unbending - rigid, relaxing * variety - one type (e.g., "this variety"), many types (e.g., "a variety") * wear - endure through use, decay through use * weather - withstand, wear away * wind up - end, start up (e.g., a watch) * with - alongside, against

16.4.07

major mishap

so i just got a new computer, and i am VERY much in love. she and i spent the entire weekend together, and it was wonderful. so i go to turn back to my other computer, and get all the important information off of it, and it doesn't work any more. all of my calendar information about when i am working for the next 5 months was on there. it's like the old computer got jealous and deliberately stopped working. there are other files that i needed from that computer too, but none as important as the calendar information. the good news is that i have the info that i need on my mobile phone, so i will just "sync" the information between the phone and the new computer. problem solved, right? WRONG! the stupid computer completely erased ALL of my contacts that were in my address book for some reason. there were somewhere around 200 numbers in there that i needed. work and personal. now i am TOTALLY screwed. i have no idea when i am supposed to be working, (beyond the next two weeks), and i know that i am going to end up having some clients get angry with me, since i won't be showing up for some of the work that i booked. that is very, very bad news. this is an example of the kind of things that happen with me and technology at home. i am a total wizard with technology when i am at work, (which is good, because i get paid well to do it), but when i try to do something at home, it all fails miserably. i think it is some sort of "cosmic trade-off", where i can either be good with technology at work, OR at home. just not both. i am so fucking annoyed right now, i just want to smash stuff.

11.4.07

quick logo

this is something that i designed for a group that i am associated with here in toronto. i realise it is not anything special, but i am trying to get into the habit of posting stuff on a regular basis. edit : apparently it no longer shows up as animated right away on some browsers - click on it to see how it should appear.

8.4.07

happy easter

. so jesus walks in to a hotel, and throws a couple of nails on the counter. he then says to the man behind the desk : "can you put me up for the night?" .

7.4.07

frickin' awesome!

this video is too excellent for words. well, except for these words : 10 minutes of extremely gruesome french-canadian hilarity!!!!! check it!

2.4.07

arrrrggghhhhh.

i apologise to anyone who actually cares about whether or not i manage to post something here, but every time i have gone to add something new here, my computer crashes, and i lose the magnificent work that i was about to post. i promise i will be posting more here in the future, i just have to wait for my computer to get better, and allow me to finally get something posted.