just a small story

this story is actually one of my favourites to tell, and also perhaps one of my most proud moments. and possibly my most eloquent. i used to live in a really bad ghetto in toronto. prostitutes. junkies. dealers. all of them "doing their thing" in my back and front yards. i was cycling home one night from my job as a security guard for a massive record store right downtown. i get about two blocks away from my apartment, and a cop motions for me to get off of my bike. and two other cops move right in the path of my movement, in an attempt to prevent me from going anywhere. the first cop asks me to dismount, which i do. he then starts to lecture me for not having a reflector on the back of my bike, (which is odd because he wouldn't have been able to see that from the front), for not having a bell on my bike, and also for not wearing a helmet. something inside me snapped. they probably actually heard it. this is my response. verbatim. "you've GOT to be fucking kidding me. there are guys up the street --- selling crack to CHILDREN!!! and you are harassing me for not having a bell????" the three of them looked stunned, and confused. i got back on my bike, and just before i rode off, i said "i suggest you find something a little more constructive to do with your time." i don't think i stopped smiling for a week!!!! by the way - the photo at the top of this post was taken in toronto this past week while i was there for work. i have no idea what kind of vehicle that is. anyone have any guesses???

mixed bag

it occurred to me not too long ago that the word multimedia is a bit of a redundant phrase. isn't the word "media" ALREADY plural???? and here is some footage straight off of my new phone it may be difficult to see in the video above, but the shadow of the plane is constantly visible as a little tiny spec on the ground. i just thought that the shadow on the clouds, (of the plane), was really neat! new phone ROCKS by the way...... expect to see lots of stuff from it on here in the future. my friend lorrie, (who is practicing MMA), and i have been obsessing over this song lately....... you may D/L it here : When in Rome - The Promise both "L-Dog" and i are wishing that someone would write a song like this for us.....

dating stories galore!!!!!

so i have been hearing lots of dating horror stories from all kinds of people, since i posted this one. in fact a friend has allowed me to post her TOP TEN worst dates, and i figured you guys would all get a kick out of reading them. her blurb is really well written. please enjoy!! ps - i have another friend who has bad dating stories - perhaps i can convince her to let me post one or two of them, if you guys let me know that you are interested!!! ---------------------------------------------- I have compiled a list of the 10 worst dates I have now been on from internet dating, and would like to share them with you so that you can take notes, compare yourself to these people, and if you see any resemblance what so ever to yourself, then I respectfully request you do not contact me and move right along. Ok? Seriously. I'm not joking. K. 10. Date with fireman. Continuous asked me if he was hot enough to be in the calendar this year. 20 times he said, “Seriously, dude, am I hot enough? Cause I think I’m hot enough? Am I hot enough????” Blazeboy, you were not hot enough, and your constant compliment seeking made me want to light you on fire. 9. Second date brought bible to our meeting. He found God, and apparently, didn’t want to leave him at home. I love God, we all should. But not at Sticky Fingers on a Wed night when wings are cheap. 8. Met cop at restaurant, he proceeded to drink in copious amounts of beer, than he stole the mug by putting it under his shirt. Then he drove me home, drunk. By the way did I mention he’s a COP? 7. I’m not even going to tell you about my 4th date because I tend to get a bit choked up and I am trying to keep the mood light. I don’t have a cat anymore. Anyways. 6. Met someone at Starbuck's. Had great chat for about 10 minutes, thought things were well. His ex girlfriend walked in. She came over said hi. He said hi. He said to me, excuse me for a second. He followed her outside to talk to her. He didn’t come back. This is not a joke. 5. The quickest date happened next, when the man whom I was suppose to be meeting had sent me picture of 6 foot tall, brown hair blue eyed good looking realtor. When 5"4 pakistani who was slightly balding introduced himself to me at Tiff’s as “Rick*”, I immediately got up and left. I am not racist, but I was PISSED. He sent me email later apologizing saying he was having trouble meeting girls the “normal” way and that he had hoped he could “win” me over with his personality. HA! 4. This date never showed. And it’s only making my list because when I went to my car I had a flat tire and had to wait 2 hours for CAA to come change it. And it was HOT outside. 3. Reformed alcoholic who didn’t tell me until after he had had 2 beers but was so nervous he thought it would help him “relax”. Um, I don’t know what ever happened to him, but I’m hoping he left our date and went straight to AA meeting. 2. Married man, didn’t even bother to take ring off, came right out and said he really only wanted to have a sexual encounter but wanted to see me in person before he decided. I flirted a bit, got him to tell me what he did for a living. Said I had to go, and would email him. Called his work the next day, talked to receptionist, found out his wife’s name, googled her, and sent her email. Hey, I might be blond, but I’m resourceful and SMART. Just not smart apparently when it comes to sniffing out the married. 1. And the number one worst date, by far, had to be with- and folks- I am NOT joking- with a PRIEST. A serious, real live priest, who was contemplating leaving the church and thought this would be the best way to “test the waters”. I might understand “walking on water”, or anointing those with “holy water”, but testing the waters should not be part of a priest’s vocabulary. ----------------------------------- hope you guys got as much of a chuckle out of that as i did!! - b-dot.

so i got to thinking....

..... about the event from the other day. and it is a really great story to tell, but it could have turned out much worse. in fact i am still getting messages from her, and she isn't getting the hint that i am not responding, so it may still turn out wrongly. like maybe she is thinking "i want to wear your skin to my birthday", or something like that. like silence of the lambs in reverse.......

true story

i have been hanging around a dating site for about 3 weeks now, and have enjoyed chatting with girls on there. meeting some really nice ones that are smart and funny and cute. so i made arrangements to meet up with one for a quick bite last night. this is how it all went down. i don't even know where to begin with what was wrong with the date. but i should have known it was going to be bad when the girl that showed up was NOT EVEN CLOSE to being the same one that was in her profile pics.... and it actually went DOWNHILL from there. it was as if she knew that i was thinking "you psycho girl! you stole someone else's profile pics, and used them as your own". because she pulled out her health card and said that "this picture doesn't look anything like me, does it?" creepy thing is, it DIDN'T look like her, but it also wasn't the girl from the other series of photos either. she was also laughing WAY TOO HARD at my jokes. you know what i mean? i felt like someone had given her a hundred bucks, and said "laugh like you have never met someone so funny in your life". now, don't get me wrong, i am a funny guy, but not THAT funny. it all just seemed so forced. she also tells me that she hasn’t worked in 2 months, and that she recently had to sell her car, in order to give her father money to pay his mortgage. she doesn’t live at home. then she goes on to tell me that she was at the queens recently to celebrate 60 days of "being clean". she didn't say "60 days of not smoking pot", or "60 days without touching drugs". nope. she specifically used the phrase "being clean". that has far too much weight behind it. i am all about giving people a second chance, and letting them get their life sorted out, but when you start to combine this little detail with the others, this becomes a fucking ENORMOUS warning super-light, that rotates really rapidly, and has barbed wire around it, and sirens going off. in surround sound!! so, there we are having something to eat. and she starts telling me that her ex-boyfriend had called her that day. from jail. and that he was telling her that he still loves her. and she then proceeds to tell me that the only reason that they broke up is because he went to jail, and if he hadn't she probably would have stayed with him. are you kidding me? you are telling me that you still love your ex while you are on a date? (at least YOU are still calling it a date. i stopped calling it that about 60 seconds after meeting you). she then starts to tell me that she did "a solid" for her ex once. and then some other words that i don't recall very specifically now, since my head was spinning from the fact she was now using jailhouse lingo to talk to me. i nervously chuckled and said "ha! sounds like you've been to jail once or twice yourself! heh heh!" BINGO!!! turns out that "the solid" she did for her ex, was take the blame for some crime that he committed. so she ended up going to jail even though she didn't do the crime herself. she let them "pin the rap on her". but isn't that what they ALL say in jail? tony : hey louis! what are you in for? louis : i didn't do it!!! i was so bloody freaked out by this girl, that when we parted company, i just wanted to run away. screaming. she reaches in for a hug, and my stupid reflexes kiss her on the cheek and i return the hug. i also say "i'll see you soon." AHHHHHHH!!!! what have i done???? she has since sent me 3 messages to tell me what a great time she had.