moved.

.

here



see you there!


and if you want to move your blog there, i will gladly host you! :)
for free, of course.

stop. hammock time.

so - completely spur of the moment this weekend, i decided to get away from my house, and went to visit my friend francis. i don't think that i have spent that much time outside in quite a while.

volleyball.
frisbee.
barbecue.
great weekend.


anyway - i come back home, and this was mixed in with my email :
Shhhhhh!!.......
Don't tell anyone...... I'm gonna go down on you....
...And you're gonna love it...........
........But it's only going to be long enough to let you start enjoying it........
....Then I'm gonna come back up again and fuck you big time.....


Lots of love,
Gas prices XOXO




and one of my favourite sites on the web, has just linked to me, and i feel honoured. (they liked the "ummmm....ahhhhh guy"). i have been hanging around there for quite a while now. i started out going there for the mp3's they post on the left side of their page, and then i actually started to read the main text on the page, and found that i quite enjoy the site.


i think it used to be three guys that posted there, but it seems now to be just one.
ANYWAY - check them out. http://www.adamriff.com/.

*yawn* 2

i have a friend who wanted to be able to hear the "Ummmmm....ahhhhhh...." guy, but her network at the office wouldn't allow her direct access to the mp3, so i decided to re-post the file, but this time with an embedded player :

does anyone ever feel like this is actually all you ever hear at a meeting? i swear that is all i EVER hear!

technical difficulties

i am currently trying to redesign this blog, and it turns out that the application that i was using to "make things easier", has only gone and screwed the blog up. please bare with me as i try and sort it out. this may get ugly.

are you KIDDING me?????

i think i need to make a trip


here is a haiku i wrote, in honour of the king :

pillowy soft bun
smoky juices on my hands
mayo, ketchup, cheese

har!

i was just reading a bunch of stories about people blurting out an accidental "double entendre", when i was reminded of this collection of quotes from british television :

Here are 12 of the finest (unintentional) Double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio.

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - ' And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria .. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing! '

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - ' Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him. '

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - ' This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. '

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn ' t that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew. '

5. US PGA Commentator - ' One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ...... Oh my god!! What have I just said?? '

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on ' Time Team Live ' said: ' You ' d eat beaver if you could get it. '

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn ' t, turned to the weatherman and asked, ' So Bob, where ' s that eight inches you promised me last night? ' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday. '

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: ' There ' s nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: ' Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis ' s misses every chance he gets. '

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1 ' s UK eclipse coverage remarked: ' They seem cold out there, they ' re rubbing each other and he ' s only come in his shorts. '

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: ' Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself. '

my job

i was saying to someone the other day about how much i love my job. i get to play with all the coolest technology, i get to listen to some of the best presenters on the planet, i get paid to learn and i get to live the lifestyle of a jet-setter, (although the remuneration doesn't quite reflect this). the biggest disappointment about my job, is the fact that i often don't have time to explore the cities that i travel to. in fact, i often don't get outside at all, apart from moving from the airport to the hotel....... if anyone out there loves their job half as much as i love mine, they are indeed very fortunate.

the morning after

after leaving the bar last night, i decided i was going to head home. then my friend kari called. i shouldn't have answered. we ended up at some party where i knew a bunch of people, and we all had a grand old time, and continued to have some drinks. next thing i know - it's 0630. normally i have been awake for at least an hour at this point, and i haven't even managed to get to bed yet. so i am currently struggling with a hangover, and don't feel so well. i am supposed to be packing right now, because i am on the road again, first thing tomorrow morning, for two weeks. but i really can't be arsed. i need a hangover cure. anyone of you 3 readers have any suggestions? ps - yes this particular post is more sucky than the others. i blame booze. (the cause of, (and solution to), all of life's problems). pps - the golden pig is my new deity

durations

time is in short supply for me these days, and it seems i don't even get enough time to sleep. the post below has an audio clip that was whittled down to five minutes of umms and ahhs, and then trimmed again to delete a minute of silence that was in there. it got me thinking about what i could have done in the five minutes of time that he wasted. it takes five minutes : - to castrate a cat - to cook baked alsaska - to kill the microorganisms responsible for botulism in canned pears, by exposing them to temperatures of 115 degrees C. - for a marble factory to turn out 1000 glass marbles - for the human eye to adapt to red light - to die from a single 60 mg dose of nicotine - for intravenous novocaine to take effect i going to ask for him to return my five minutes.

*yawn*

.



for those of you that still check in here, to see if this guy is still up to anything; i am glad you keep returning.



i apologise to each and every one of you, but work has been absolutely HECTIC, and i haven't even had any time to myself, or much of a chance to get online, other than to check email.





so, having said that, i have still been having fun with digital media.





the link below, is a talk that i recorded one day, while at work. but i have removed 95% of the words in the speech, and left only the "uhs". the result is pretty interesting, and quite amusing. keep in mind a few things :



- this guy is a highly paid expert in his field

- this was originally a 30 minute talk

- i have not edited this file other than to delete parts. the edit is completely

LINEAR.

- i wanted to slap this guy.





that is all i can think to tell you about, at the mo'



please enjoy.





************ UPDATE *****************



apparently there was an issue with the previous link.



this one should work :



uhhhhh.....

interesting

One of the weirdest computers ever built forsakes traditional hardware in favour of "gloopware". Andrew Adamatzky at the University of the West of England, UK, can make interfering waves of propagating ions in a chemical goo behave like logic gates, the building blocks of computers.



The waves are produced by a pulsing cyclic chemical reaction called the Belousov-Zhabotinsky reaction.



Adamatzky has shown that his chemical logic gates can be used to make a robotic hand stir the mixture in which they exist. As the robot's fingers stimulate the chemicals further reactions are triggered that control the hand.



The result is a sort of robotic existential paradox – did the chemical brain make the robot's hand move, or the hand tell the brain what to think? Eventually Adamatzky aims to couple these chemical computers to an electroactive gel-based "skin" to create a complete "blob-bot".

joke

Q : what's the square root of 69?





A : 8 something













(it's funny because it's mathematically correct)

too long

not much inspiration happening to me currently.



i have been spending most of my free time trying to reorganise my new house, and also obsessing over my music collection.



a lot of my experimental stuff is residing on miscellaneous hard drives that are scattered around the house.



i promise you that i will post more frequently when i start to amalgamate all of my data in to one place. i have my eyes on a ONE terabyte hard drive right now, but i will be away in montreal for a week.... so perhaps once i return.





anything in particular you guys want to see more of? less of? or just some fresh ideas for me to mess around with?





in the meantime - here is a video of a sunset from steve & ang's place that i captured this summer. in time-lapse :

interesting

here is a startling fact for you to ponder :



China, a country without trees, is now the largest exporter of wood products in the world.



anyone care to discuss?





btw - the image above is my current "desktop picture". like most of the images on this pathetic little blog thing, it was captured by my phone. click on it to "biggify" it.

snowfall

this video is a timelapse capture from tuesday night/wednesday morning. somewhere around 20 cm of snow falls during the duration of the video, but a lot of it also blows away at the same time.



the video has been edited slightly, in order to make sure that is a little more interesting to watch.





some highlights to watch for :



- me shovelling

- snowblower in the top right corner

- neighbour taking FOREVER to shovel his driveway

- scott and a friend shoveling and stuff

- snow plow on my driveway



(it all looks so painfully boring to see it written there. but at least it is less than four minutes of your time to watch this).





other things i didn't notice the first time around :



- the snow moving across the roof of the house opposite me

- house spider crawling all over the window

- how fast the sky appears to move at some points.

iRant

my friend rich, has a post on his blog asking people for advice on what computer to buy. below is my response to him.......









here is my three cents.



get a mac.



and then run ALL THREE operating systems on that machine.





alternatively, you could buy a cheap PC, and install the mac os on it. HERE is one version of it, although i have seen various working models, including one installation on a $400 laptop.





now to convince you that you really should only buy a mac.......





i have been using macs since their first model back in 1984. i have used all kinds of other computers with all kinds of different OS's on them. i even used to have a xerox computer at home, (which was where apple got the idea for THEIR OS).



i studied computer programming, and network architecture on PC's.



i have used atari computing systems for generating music, and also used them for sequencing and slow, simple audio editing.



at the end of the day, i ALWAYS looked forward, when i could go home to my trusty mac.



it's not like the other companies are incapable of building a decent machine, but they simply just DON'T. dell/gateway/HP build computers with parts supplied by the lowest bidder. if they run out of a particular part, they substitute something else equally cheap.



microsoft strictly builds operating systems. not machines. one of the reasons their system crashes so frequently, is because they have to try and build a system that will work well with perhaps a MILLION combinations of bits of hardware.





apple builds the system, and it runs on an incredibly small variation of bits and pieces. it is this reason that makes them such stable machines to run. they may cost a little more to purchase outright, but if you try and build an equivalent windows-only PC, you will spend the same amount of money, if not more.



sure, there is more software available for a PC. that only makes sense, since the windows OS is so ubiquitous. but does this mean better? the answer is a simple "NO". the best way to prove my point is by using television as an example. is 600 channels of programming better than 30? nope.



600 channels means that all the programming that you would get from 30, is just spread out across ALL of the channels. and the content that you wouldn't normally get from only 30 channels, (meaning original programming), is so diluted and weak that it can hardly be considered worthwhile programming.



so just because there are more titles available for windows, doesn't mean that you are better off.





and guess which laptop runs windows the best? i posted about this one previously on my own blog.





anyway..... that's about all i have to say about that.











anyone care to comment?

meh.

what the deuce?

Meteorologists in China say that that if necessary they will modify the weather on August 8 so it doesn't rain on the 2008 Summer Olympics opening ceremonies. From the Los Angeles Times:

Training with the Olympics in mind, the meteorologists have been practicing their "rain mitigation" techniques since 2006. They have had a couple of dry runs, so to speak -- a China-Africa summit and a panda festival in Sichuan province, among others.



The bureau of weather modification was established in the 1980s and is now believed to be the largest in the world. It has a reserve army of 37,000 people -- most of them sort of weekend warriors who are called to duty during unusual droughts. The bureau has 30 aircraft, 4,000 rocket launchers and 7,000 antiaircraft guns, said Wang Guohe, director of weather modification for the Chinese Academy of Meteorology.



"We have the largest program in the world with the most people involved and the most equipment, but it is not really the most advanced," Wang said. That honor belongs to the Russians, who he says used sophisticated cloud-seeding in 1986 to prevent radioactive rain from the Chernobyl reactor accident from reaching Moscow.

more diary

more stuff pulled out of my diary from my earlier years......





January 21



math class...... man, i tell ya - what a bummer. they guy behind me farted right in the middle of an explanation of of an algebra question. everybody in the class turned and looked straight at me. i couldn't help but laugh, because it was a really juicy fart.



sometimes the things i say in front of the other guys are really dumb. but like that famous philosopher W.A. Yankovic says : "dare to be stupid".





January 22



boy, did i get mad today. during english, "DAVE THOMAS" hit me in the back of the head. i got fed up with him always hitting me in the head whenever i tried to get anything from under my desk, so i just bashed him in the side of the head.



then after that class, during lunch, "MARK HIGGINS" kept flicking my ears and squeezing my juice box. he also punched me in the stomach. so i left the table where i was sitting, and hit him in the back of the head. then he chased out of the cafetorium and into the office.





January 23



well... another boring day. i'm not writing this today, but i am writing it tomorrow. actually, it is the day after the 23rd. i got home late last night.



the reason i was late was because i went to a snow party over at "TIM MEADOVALE"'s house, with the youth group.



i took my brand new white coat off while i was horsing around, and it got run over by a snowmobile. luckily nothing happened to it.



January 24



you know what really bugs me? it's that my new favourite show is already doing re-runs. it's only been on the air for two months, (8 shows). i mean, like, the character isn't even that good. it's not hard to act like a kid or say something really dumb - i do it every day. i think i'll write a letter to the creators of the show, and tell them how peeved i am.





January 26



i feel pretty awful about today. sam was trying to get a bag of potato chips ($0.48) from me. he got me down on the ground, did the camel clutch***, and started to pinch and punch me.



so i got mad and punched him in the head once, and a couple of times in his side. (5:30 PM). then about 11:00 PM he started to throw up.



mom blamed it on me and made me stay with him for about an hour.





January 27



once upon a time, far far away, there was a princess that they were not allowed to look at when she walked through the town.



but one guy looked at her and they got married, had children, and lived happily after ever.



for a while.











(***i have no idea what that wrestling move is ---- b-dot)

hello again

so a while ago, i came across a diary that i had started to write from over 20 years ago. i have decided to post it here, one week at a time, because i got a big kick out of how naive i was back then.



it needs to be mentioned that i have changed the names of people in here, to save myself from further embarrassment. it should also be noted that i used to be REALLY little in size......





let me know if you think that this diary thing sucks..........





January 15



i really don't know what to write - except that i just got this book yesterday so that's why there isn't anything written up until today.



i guess i will talk about what happened at school.



i think that "NANCY SMITH" is starting to like me. i can tell by the way she keeps looking at me. i hope that one day i will go steady with her (maybe more). well, see you tomorrow.





January 16



today was a real bummer. the guys at school were really rowdy, pulling my hair, throwing me on the typewriters, and kicking me. some day i'll be able to just turn around and belt them.



today i am not so sure if "NANCY" likes me because when she walked down the hall with her friend "CATHY", "CATHY" turned around and saw me behind them, looked back at "NANCY" and she ("CATHY") laughed. so i don't know what either of them said about me, or if they said anything about me at all......





January 17



most of today was boring. you know, re-runs of cartoons, hardly any snow around for us to go tobogganing. about 1pm, dad took us in to newmarket. we went to harvey's for burgers, to the comic wizard for - what else - but comics. we also went to this place called the balloon saloon, where i bought a knife that looked real, (plastic), and had a retractable blade so it looked like i was killing my brother.





January 18



today? same. i went uptown & looked around in some of the stores. i bought 99 cents worth of sugar-free candies, (Eda-candies), batteries for my walkman, which cost me $2.28, (Eveready). sam bought the second edition of a three-issue limited series and that's about it. so for all the days i've written, you can see i lead a pretty dull life.





January 19



i just figured it out. i think our mid-term reports are gonna be out soon because we are having a lot of tests lately.





January 20



you know what really peeves me? is when you can't think of anything to write about. whether it be in a letter or in a diary.